Friday, January 6, 2017

Hello, 2017!

Welcoming 2017 and saying goodbye to 2016. Sounds cliché, but I might need to do it anyway. Because...

2016 was a bitch!

At least for me, for my life.
But I got a lot of lessons learned. Might be one of biggest year in my life. I met some new friends, met some old best friends, become best friends with some, lost some people I love, and cutting ties with some others. Some are supported me, but some are stabbed me. Well, what goes around, comes around. People come and go, some are lesson and some are blessing. If I think long enough, eventually all of them will be blessing. Because in the end I know which some are really friends, which some are saying they were friends or sisters but stabbed me in my back. Fake bitches. Ouch!

I also got a big lesson learned. About my life, especially. What I'm looking for in my whole life (things that I'm searching for, but I don't even know what I'm looking for), some of them were found on 2016. SOME. Hey, now I know that my whole life is a lie and full of bullshit. For all this time, I always wondering what the hell my purpose, in this life at least. Haven't got the big picture of it, but I got the image. At least I'm not walking in the darkest path anymore. Still dark, yes, but I got some lights.

For the last 10 years, I was mentally unstable. I was depressed a lot and I have anxiety issues. I got more and more quiet along the time, then trying to forget everything that hurts. Running from reality, they say. I was.

I lost my sister on March. She meant so much for me, but I took her for granted. I was devastated. It also affect much on my working performance. I only have one big sister, and now she's gone. The wolf aka Lupus took her away. Under the circumstances at that time, it might as well because of me, and I still feeling guilty about it. Then not so long after my sister departed, I lost my grandmother to. Since my father and my sister left already, she might have some feeling about it. Even though nobody told her about it. We are scared if we told her that 2 of her dearest people have left this world, it would affect her health. Well, I just hope they were having a very pleasant journey to the other side.

I spend few days on the last 2016 feeling sad. And don't have any idea why I felt so sad. It's just happened. Still feel it sometimes until now. And it might not my own feeling, it could be others. And raining heavily outside while I wrote this post.

I tried not to think that 2016 was only a prelude or reherseal to 2017. Because you never know what would happen in the future. Future is flux, anything still could change. I would just trying to keep my optimistic mind, God knows I don't have them. Nothing is fix and nothing is impossible. So to speak..

2017 and I still hate a lot of people.

Yet, I hope this year 2017, I will be happy and healthy. People I love will be happy and healthy. There will be peace all over the world and no more wars. Not in Indonesia, not in Papua, not in Gaza, not in Africa, not even Star Wars. Peace everywhere..

cont;nue, l;ve..

No comments:

Post a Comment